The need to get away.

I think that we have all day dreamed of going somewhere far away and starting new. From a tabula rasa, a blank slate, an empty canvas.

Perhaps this is a human thing. Or an anti-social-network-connectivity thing. To go against the constant-on and always-there type of presence online and be selective with who we share.

I find that it tends to be one or the other for me. I am either constantly sharing, or I am very selective with who I share while also knowing that one can’t share too much even in the percieved walls offered by privacy controls and sharing settings.

The thing here is that if you can in fact go somewhere really far away, start new and not have the past be there at your side… will you actually go for it? Or just accept the fact that the past will always be there, somehow, as an invited guest or an unwanted intruder.

The following are some things that I tried:

Work

I lasted for a few months until I decided to set up Facebook again to contact my relatives straight away and keep in touch with a group of people knowing that it may be a while until I see them.

It was a good way to finally separate my personal life to my work. In particular, the work that I did in the past (it’s a very long story).

Yet somehow, work just catches up with me.

A question about how life is like back home turns into a “and now I am doing this for work…” discussion which then I reply with a work related comment. I am more than happy to help. But just thinking about this particular exchange, I just wish that it didn’t have to be all about…productivity. Just life. Life doesn’t have to be so productive, so busy, so curated, so carefully crafted…all the time.

I need to learn how to separate work from life. Or perhaps I was part of the person’s work sphere.

My approach here is that I am trying to figure out how to have a more meaningful life.
Again, it’s a long story.

Family

I decided to add my mum on Facebook. Then she started sharing my traveling photos to her own connections, now I have my mum’s colleagues and some distant relatives keeping up to date with where I am.

I don’t mind. Although I had to remind her that she needs to set her privacy settings to “Friends Only”

Now my cousin wants to add me so that she knows what I’m up to.

Old Friends and Acquaintances

I recently found out some fantastic news with a friend and am very happy for her. I recently reconnected with an old acquaintance only to find out that he is heading to London…on that same day. I am also opening up this blog with Q & A posts which involves reconnecting with people that I have met once or worked with once many years ago to see what they are up to and to also, if they like, share their experiences of working abroad. Some for many years across many countries, others for just under a couple of years in a new city.

This was something that I facilitated. But I can’t help but be curious.

To decide which ties to break, to decide which relationships to forge

Out of a few conversations that I’ve had with those who moved away with the outlook so start new, there is a common ground when it comes to how one’s connections and ties to their home country should be treated.

Perhaps there is no such thing as a home country but a home that can be created, however and wherever.

There is no such thing as friends or work colleagues “from Country A”. But they’re just friends, and they’re just work colleagues regardless of which country.

Someone that I know once commented “…well, I’m not really wanting to keep in touch with people back in [Country A]…except for you, maybe a few others and my family…”

Perhaps this is the only way to move on.