Stop Thinking About Tomorrow’s Box

For nearly four years, I have been doing meditation and it’s usually in the mornings.  I imagine myself breathing in the bright blue color and letting the color swirl inside me. When I exhale, I imagine the blue color pushing out black particles which are all negative feelings and thoughts that I have had overnight or in the morning.

I repeat this several times.  Breathe in the sky blue color.  Breathe out the black particles.

My mind wandered briefly one morning.  I usually try to keep my self focused on this one task at hand but somehow, my mind wandered.

I started thinking about how it would be great to have enough money and time to visit my family and friends. Earlier on that week, I was looking through how much return flights would cost to visit them (it would be at least $3000), the logistics involved, the time constraints, and challenges it would be.  It was just too much.  On top of that was the constant background ‘noise’ of “working overseas” related issues.

Then a thought crossed my mind.  It really was just over a month ago that my family and I met up and had a vacation for two weeks flying in thousands of kilometres from three different cities.  On top of that, I was also meeting them again in a week, this time flying to another country and spending another four days with them.  Last year, we did something similar.  Last year, my sister and I were able to meet and spend time in New York.  Next year, we’ll probably do it again but this time all over Europe.

What I didn’t realize is that I was living in what I previously thought was the Tomorrow Box.  The Tomorrow Box held all the things that you are aiming for – like, more money or more time or faster airplanes.  Tomorrow, I can do this.  Tomorrow, I will get this.

The realization was that I was IN that box.  All this time, I have been able to do what I had always wanted and intended to do.  Which is to have the time and money to spend with my geographically scattered family.

Now that I realized this, my second thought was: How is it possible to forget this?

Maybe my mind has been in some sort of fog, taking me longer than usual to realize these things that I have been taking for granted.